“Fake it until you make it.” You’ve probably heard the phrase before, but let’s be honest—it gets a bad reputation.
It sounds like you’re being told to lie, pretend, or be someone you’re not. But when it’s done with the right mindset, faking it is actually one of the most powerful tools for building real confidence.
I’ve used it myself. In the early days of my business, I was terrified of calling prospects. I’d put off the calls, overthink every word, and convince myself they’d say no before I’d even dialled. But once I started acting confident, everything changed. And over time, that act became real.
In this post, I’ll break down how that shift happened—and share practical tips to help you build real confidence by first pretending to have it.
What “Fake It Until You Make It” Really Means
Let’s clear something up: this phrase doesn’t mean “be fake.” It doesn’t mean pretending you have skills you don’t or telling people things that aren’t true.
It means acting like the future version of yourself. The version who has already done the hard thing. It’s about stepping into the role you want to grow into—not lying, but leading with behaviour that builds belief.
Confidence is a result of action. You don’t need to feel confident to make the call, give the presentation, or pitch the idea. You just need to act like you can. That small shift is what starts to rewire how you see yourself.
My Story: From Dreading Sales Calls to Loving Them
I remember staring at the phone with sweaty palms, knowing I needed to call prospects but finding every excuse not to. I didn’t feel confident. I imagined people thinking I was inexperienced, annoying, or not worth their time.
Eventually, I realised that waiting until I felt confident wasn’t going to work. So, I made a decision: I’d act like someone who wasn’t afraid of sales calls. I’d speak with energy. I’d sound like I knew exactly what I was talking about. I’d smile before I dialled. I even stood up to feel more in control.
At first, it felt like a bit of theatre. But something strange happened. The more I did it, the more natural it became. Prospects responded better. I felt in control. I started closing deals. And before long, I didn’t need to fake the confidence—it was real.
Practical Tips to Act Confident (Even If You Don’t Feel It Yet)
1. Use Body Language
Your body influences your mind more than you think. Sit or stand tall, shoulders back, chin up. Smile—even on phone calls. This helps shift your internal state to match the posture you’re presenting.
2. Prepare Like a Pro
Confidence comes from preparation. Have your talking points, FAQs, or even a light script ready. You don’t need to memorise it, but knowing your key messages makes you sound and feel more in control.
3. Change Your Self-Talk
What you say to yourself matters. Replace thoughts like “I’m not ready” with “Let’s see what happens” or “I’ve got this.” You don’t have to believe it at first—just say it anyway.
4. Start Small
Don’t wait for the big moment to test your confidence. Practice in low-pressure situations. Leave voice notes, record yourself, or rehearse with a teammate. Small wins stack up quickly.
5. Visualise the Confident You
Before you enter a meeting, call, or pitch, take a moment to picture the most confident version of yourself. How do they stand, speak, and carry themselves? Then, act like that person—even if it feels like a stretch at first.
6. Celebrate the Act of Showing Up
After every time you “fake it,” reflect on what you did well. Don’t focus on perfection. Reward the act of doing the hard thing. That’s what builds true confidence over time.
Final Thoughts
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. One action at a time.
Faking it isn’t about being someone you’re not. It’s about showing up as the person you’re becoming. And with every call, every pitch, and every new challenge, that version of you becomes real.
So the next time you feel like you’re not ready—act like you are. That small shift could change everything.
